My Partner Lost Sexual Interest. How to regain sex drive!


People, relationship difficulties, conflict and family concept – unhappy couple having problems at bedroom

My Partner Lost Interest in Sex

You’re on the couch with your partner and the most exciting thing going on in the house is a snoring dog, if you’re lucky. You know it…. Your partner knows it… The spark between you and your partner is gone. Or maybe you’re feeling inadequate in terms of satisfying your partner? Maybe they’re feeling the same way.
Regardless, if you’re reading this, it’s been a long time either of you came so hard your eyes rolled into the back of your head, if you were lucky enough to fuck at all.

Maybe… it’ll make you feel better to know that you’re not alone. According to a study published by the Journal of Sex Research, 41% of men and 27% of women are not satisfied with their sexual relationships. Due to this, it might be time for you to consider spicing things up in the sack.

BUT HOW CAN YOU SPICE THINGS WHEN WE’VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR SO LONG? AFTER ALL, LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS HAVE A WAY FALLING INTO A RUT. THAT DOESN’T JUST APPLY TO FALLING INTO PATTERNS, BUT ALSO TO LOSING PASSION.

Let’s face it. Relationships won’t stay in the honeymoon stage forever. The strong bond between you and your partner might not just be enough to compensate for the gradual decrease of sexual attraction between you two. If you’re not having mind blowing sex on a regular basis, you may as well be roommates. “Wow, what a statement.” I thought as I wrote it. I didn’t realize my feelings were that strong.

Granted, needs and desires change over time. You might not want the same things you wanted in bed when your relationship was just starting. And your partner may be feeling the same way.

So what now? Does a lack of sexual attraction and compatibility mean that you have to pack your bags? The answer is a big “no”.

According to renowned psychotherapist and TEDx speaker Lucy Bretford, a lack of sexual attraction and compatibility does not end a relationship. However, they are crucial aspects that when not addressed, can lead to more serious problems.

But the news doesn’t all suck. With enough work, you and your partner can get back on track in no time. Here are ways for you to deal with boring, sexless relationships: 

  • Talk a lot. (I know, it’s not my favorite either)

Sexual tastes VARY. So diverse in 2020. You and your lover won’t know any of these fantasies if you don’t communicate them with each other.

“STOP BEING SUCH PUSSIES. REALLY, STOP. COME OUT AND SAY EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT. I ENCOUNTER TOO MANY PEOPLE WHO DON’T GET WHAT THEY WANT BUT DON’T TALK ABOUT WHAT THEY WANT… DUHHHHH! IT IS CRUCIAL FOR YOU AND YOUR PARTNER TO BE HONEST ABOUT HOW YOU TWO ARE FEELING. SEX TALKS MAY BE AWKWARD AT FIRST, BUT THE MORE YOU TALK, THE LOWER THE AWKWARDNESS WILL BE. ADDITIONALLY, TALKING ABOUT SEX CAN ACTUALLY FUCKING TURN YOU ON AND MAKE YOU FEEL MORE CONNECTED TO YOUR PARTNER.”

And don’t be shy about sharing your fantasies. After talking, you might find your partner has the similar ones and you’ll get to start exploring each other more exciting fantasies together!

Talking before intercourse is not enough though. You also have to talk after it. Share with each other what you enjoyed most during your intimate time. If there’s something you did not like, you have to be open about it as well.

  • Set a sex date at least once a week.

How often you have sex does not dictate the quality of your sex life. Remember, quality will always trump quantity. Now, we aren’t discrediting hot spontaneous fucking, however, most couples don’t usually have spontaneous sex. To combat this, setting a sex date is a must.

Tammy Nelson, a sex and relationship expert said that a sex date allows you and your partner to plan out what you can do to make it more satisfying and exciting.

Not to mention busy schedules, long days and responsibilities all get in the way of spontaneity. Setting a sex date is especially useful to make sure you don’t get lost in everything that goes on in day to day life. Make sure your sex life doesn’t fall to the wayside. 

  • Try having mindfulness sessions before hitting the sheets.

Unbeknownst to many, mindfulness sessions are not just for yoga fans. A mindfulness session can be helpful before sex, too. Mindfulness sessions allow you to be aware of your thoughts, feelings, and immediate environment.

If you want to take your sex life up a notch, you might want to lie or sit down with your partner first. Take a minute or two to focus on your breathing and feelings. Try to feel the moment without having to do anything in particular.

  • Explore you and your partner’s kinks.

Old-fashioned vanilla sex used to be good enough, until kinks came out. Kinks used to be a taboo, but thanks to the open-minded, progressive society we live in, they’re not anymore.

Couples, now more than ever, explore their kinks as an exciting supplement to their sex lives. From BDSM (domination, bondage, & humiliation) to threesomes, foursomes & moresomes, kinks will surely spice things up in the bedroom.

You can also try role playing along with the right costumes (e.g. leather suits and collars) to fulfill each other’s fantasies.

Kinky sex might just be the hidden gem you’re looking for all this time.
So give yourself and your partner the chance to explore.

  • Use Sex Toys. 

Ah, good old sex toys. They just make things more mysterious and erotic, don’t they?

IN FACT, 70% OF MEN HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH USING VIBRATORS TO PLEASURE THEIR PARTNERS.

Contrary to popular belief, sex toys don’t replace human intimacy. Instead, they boost your sex life’s quality.
From the good old silicone butt plug/metal plug to the ergonomic sex swingsex toys are here to stay. Just take it from the booming sex toy industry.

There’s no reason for you and your partner to be afraid of sex toys. And we said sex toys and not a sex toy for a reason. Buy two, three, or even twenty of them. After all, it’s very easy to purchase a variety of them discreetly. You can use many during the same time too.

  • See a professional.

I don’t even want to bring this up to you, my wonderful audience if you’ve been with me thus far, but yes, a third party. If you and your partner are still not back to your once amazing sex life after doing the five things above, maybe it’s time for you two to see a professional.

A sex therapist can help you and your partner rekindle your sex life by resolving surface and underlying issues.

You and your partner might just be too nervous to talk about the underlying issues of your boring sex life. A sex therapist can help you do so through scientific methods.

Don’t be afraid if things start to get boring in bed. Like any other aspect of a relationship, you and your partner can get through this as long as you take the necessary steps.

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